Gobblin.net

Sometimes the first draft of a scene will make it to the final book word-for-word. Usually it takes a couple drafts of revisions either self-imposed or guided by Tokyopop and Henson before drawing commences. Most of those changes are done to improve the story or character development, but there were a few trims that had to be made just for the sake of page count.

The scene below is a scene from Chapter 3 (Educating Toby) of Volume 2 that expands the “B” story of Skub making his “Mak and Cheees.” Due to time and page constraints, we had to trim it down from eight pages to two. This scene was mostly an excuse to have Hana and Stank (the Fairy and baby-Ludo) get involved with some mischief, and a way to bring back some minor supporting characters, so trimming it doesn’t affect the main story. Still, I’m a sucker for cute critters and pratfalls, so I thought I’d share it before it before it’s lost forever. So here you the “director’s cut” version of Hana and Stank’s Cheese adventures!

Pg. 95
Hana is riding Stank’s back through the streets of the Goblin City. The “camera” is down low to their perspective, so we see lots of goblin legs going by, but not full body shots of the goblins.

HANA
All right, Stank. Use that nose of yours and find us some cheese.

Close up of Stank as he stops, lifts his nose and sniffs the air. A faintly visible scent trail drifts towards his nose.

SFX
sniff sniff

Stank suddenly snaps to attention. His ears perk up and his eyes open wide.

Stank takes of running down the street, following the scent trail.

SFX
TMP TMP TMP TMP

Stank comes to a screeching halt in front of a goblin residence made of stone where the scent trail is drifting out of a window a few feet above Stank and Hana’s heads.

HANA
Good job, boy.

HANA
Give me a boost.

Hana stands on Stank’s head and the little critter raises him self up onto just his hind legs, pushing Hana so that she can see through the window.

Pg. 96

The window is shut fast, but is glass so Hana can see through. Inside is Maelgrot from the museum. He is in much cleaner kitchen than Skub’s – it’s 18th century looking – a potbelly stove and cupboards. Maelgrot is hovering over the stove where a small pot is set to boil. We see this from the outside of the window. In the foreground is Hana peeking in.

HANA
Bingo.

Hana hops back on the ground and looks at the stone wall of Maelgrot’s house.

HANA
Stank, stone.

Stank gives a short nod of his head.

STANK (SFX)
Nod

Stank tips his head back and makes a little howl.

A stone in the wall next to Hana starts to quiver, breaking out of the mortar that holds it in place.

STONE (small SFX)
Klatta klatta klatta

The stone dislodges itself and rolls out, making a little doorway that is big enough for Hana to walk through. As she walks into the hole, she tells Stank to stay.

HANA
Stay here and keep watch.

Pg. 97

Int. Maelgrot’s kitchen Cont.

Maelgrot is holding a box of “KLEFT Macaroni and Cheese” (clearly modeled after a box of Kraft to as to be recognizeable. On the cover is a chef that looks suspiciously like the Sweedish Chef from the muppets – this is all background details) in one hand. The other hand is stirring a pot of boiling water with a wooden spoon. In the background, in the kitchen doorway, is a small overturned cardboard looking box. Motion lines behind it indicate that it is inching forward.

MAELGROT
I’m sure the museum won’t miss this one box of this human food…

A closer shot of the box shuffling along. Hana’s feet are barely visible underneath.

Suddenly Maelgrot snaps to attention. Motion lines show that he’s turning his head. An exclamation point is visible over head.

SFX
ZOING!

The box stops moving and drops flush to the ground.

Maelgrot picks up the box and peeks inside. Hana is bracing herself against the walls inside, smiling sheepishly. Maelgrot is horrified by what he’s found.

MAELGROT
A Fairy!

Maelgrot takes the box and shakes Hana out into a clear Mason jar. He twists the lid on tight, trapping her inside.

HANA
Hey! Let me go!

Malegrot sets Hana in a jar on a high kitchen shelf. The edge of the shelf ends directly above the pot of boiling water.

MAELGROT
I’d better get the exterminator. What if there’s an infestation!?

As Maelgrot walks out of the kitchen, Hana presses herself against the glass, looking terrified.

Pgs. 98-102

This is the scene in which Toby duels Candlewic which remains the same in the finished book.

Pg. 103

Meanwhile, back in Maelgrot’s house, Maelgrot puts on his hat and a scarf and exits his front door. In the foreground of the shot we see Hana, still trapped in the Mason jar.

MAELGROT
I just hope Mallik’s is still open…

Close up on the door closing. Just as it’s about to slam shut, Stank runs in. As he comes to a halt, the carpet he stops on piles up. Stank’s tongue hangs out happily.

Close up of Hana trapped inside the glass jar. She smiles to see Stank again.

HANA
Stank! Good boy!

Hana presses her hands and face against the glass and glances down at the pot of boiling water and the box of KLEFT macaroni and cheese.

HANA
Hang on. I’m getting down from here.

Pg. 104

Hana, now standing up, prepares for a running start.

HANA
Here goes nothing…

Hana runs and slams into the side of the jar with her shoulder.

SFX
WHAM

The jar wobbles, then falls on its side.

SFX
Wobble wobble

SFX
TONK

Hana starts walking on all fours, rolling the jar like a hamster wheel.

SFX
Roll roll

The Jar rolls to the edge of the shelf. The Pot of boiling water is looming below.

HANA
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

The jar plummets towards the boiling water.

Pg. 105

Suddenly, Stank arcs through the air and catches the jar in his mouth.

Stank lands in a cute pile on his butt, the bottle intact. They’re up on the counter, near the box of Mac and Cheese and close to the stove.

Hana, shaken up from her fall, is releaved.

HANA
Great! Now get me out of this jar!

Cut to Stank holding a kitchen mallet above his head about to smash the bottle.

Inside the jar Hana screams at Stank!

HANA
Not like that, fuzz-brain! Just unscrew the lid!

Stank is holding the open jar in one hand, the lid in the other. Hana is dragging the packet of powdered cheese from the box of KLEFT behind her.

SFX
Drag drag

HANA
Let’s take this cheese and get out of here.

Stank nods. He’s sitting dangerous close to the stovetop. Tail is dangling near the open flame.

SFX
Nod

Pg. 106

Close up of Stank’s tail as it catches fire on the tip.

SFX
FOOM

Stank’s eyes open wide in terror.

STANK
Arooo!

Stank starts running. Hana grabs on to his hair with her free hand and is pulled behind him. Stank’s tail is on fire.

SFX
Dash!

Stank knocks over pots, pans, jars and anything else in his way as he runs around in circles in the kitchen. A trail of smoke comes behind him.

SFX
KRASH!
BANG!
KLATTA
KER-KRAK

Close up as Stank’s tail ignites a curtain.

SFX
FOOM

Stank literally runs through the front door, splintering it asunder, as Hana desperately tries to hold on.

SFX
SMASH!

Stank lowers his smoldering rear into the fountain in the center of the Goblin City. A statue of a goblin is pissing a stream of water onto his head. Hana stands on the rim holding the bag of cheese. Steam lines come out of the fountain where Stank is sitting.

SFX
HISSSSS

Pg. 107

Maelgrot is walking along the street side-by-side with Mallik, the goblin exterminator from volume 1 who tried to sell rats to Moppet.

MAELGROT
Now, the vermin didn’t have wings, but I’m most certain it was a Fairy…

Cut to the two of them standing before the wrecked and burned remains of Maelgrot’s house.

MAELGROT (aside)
…My house…

MALLIK
Yup. That’s the work of fairies, all right.

Tags: Labby, Paperback Writer