Gobblin.net

Image by way of worldofwonder.net.

Fans of MC Escher and optical illusions (and really, who isn’t?) will get a kick out of these instructions for how to build your own Penrose triangle out of LEGOs. Thanks to LEGO website Klocki for sharing this!

More optical illusion LEGO pics after the jump… Read more…

Junior novelizations are an odd breed of book. I mean, does one really need to read a 200 page prose version of Adventures in Babysitting? (If you were me in 1987, then the answer is a resounding yes, but I pray that I’m in the minority). Over the years I’ve collected quite a few gems of dubious literary spin-offs—everything from a Where’s Waldo/Street Fighter mash up to the Star Wars Question and Answer Book About Space, which poses such questions as “Are there such things as Moon Creatures?” and “Can Lasers kill people?” (the answers are no and sometimes respectively–sorry, spoilers). One of my favorites is the novelization of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (hint, it’s not by Bram Stoker).

Today let’s look beneath the cover of a real head-scratcher: Blade Runner: a Story of the Future. Is this heavily illustrated 90 page chapter book meant to appeal to the 7-year-olds coming off of The Empire Strikes Back and itching for more Han Solo space adventures, or is it intended to be a low-cost art book for older fanboys? We’ll let the book speak for itself.

He sat alone, looking at the snakes decorating the bar walls, crawling upon the floor, and wrapped around women who were wearing little else. The snakes were replicas, of course – otherwise they would have cost a fortune. But the showgirls were clearly real, their flesh warm against the snakes’ cold scales. Except for one, thought Deckard. One who looked even more enticing than the others. She was billed as Salome, and when she finished her act and went backstage, Deckard couldn’t wait for Rachael any longer. He had a job to do. A skin job.

Actually, that sounds more like the start of a very naughty fan fic.

Skin jobs aside, the author takes a decidedly chipper approach to adaptation. For instance, take Roy Batty’s final lines, perhaps the most poignant point in the film. This:

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.

Becomes this:

“You have courage,” Batty said to him. “You are the only human I have met with as much courage as I. Perhaps you have even more. Even I was tempted to beg not to die.” Batty paused as his mind turned feelings into words. “I could not destroy courage like that. It would be like destroying what is best in me.”

Deckard sat beside Batty as Batty stared up at the star-filled sky.

“You know,” said Batty,” I have never spared a life before. I am glad I was able to do it now. I am glad I have been free not to kill at least once before I die.”

Okay, granted the author probably had to write this before the final script, and Batty’s final line was improved, but that sounds more like “Frog and Toad are Replicants” than Blade Runner.

Come to think of it, the book’s final words also have a Frog and Toad vibe:

Deckard had one hand on the controls, the other was around Rachael. “They’ve left it all behind for us,” he said. “We’re heirs to all the earth.”

“But for how long?” asked Rachael.

“How does that old-fashioned vow go?” said Deckard. “For as long as we both shall live.”

My friend Jason Thompson, author of Manga: The Complete Guide, recently invited me over for a unique (to say the least) evening of manga smelling, tasting and snobbish silliness. The event is captured in his article for OtakuUSA. Check it out for a rare glimpse at at the madness that goes into reviewing manga (and an even rarer glimpse of bescarfed and Beard-Type me). A sample set of reviews of Rin! (a yaoi title):

JASON: This sweet nectar-like 2002 exhibits a pleasantly yeasty and honey- and raisin-scented nose. A pretty, elegant, feminine effort, it possesses excellent focus as well as depth of fruit. In short, extremely fruity.
JAKE: As someone who’s new to this variety, I find it surprisingly tame and a very mild flavor. I was expecting a bold taste explosion in my mouth, but it goes down surprisingly easy.
RYAN: A lean body, but not yet a mature and balanced finish.

Read the full article at OtakuUSA

So a few months back, I visited my sister in Alabama and we went on a road trip. As we were packing our bags, I suddenly had an idea – let’s invite Jareth! And so I looked into the mirror and chanted, “Goblin King, Goblin King, wherever you may be, come to Alabama with a banjo on your knee!” And lo and behold, he came! It was one heck of a trip, I assure you. And thanks to Jareth, we never wanted for catchy tunes in the radio wasteland of the deep south. First stop: Space Camp!

In case you were wondering, Space Camp is just like the movie, in that hardly anything’s changed since the 80s, only there were no artificially intelligent robots to accidentally launch you into space for real. Or maybe those were in the off-limits, campers-only sections (we really just toured the museum and grounds). My sister and I played on the Mars-themed climbing wall, but Jareth said the tight fitting safety holsters looked a little too snug for comfort. (Yeah, I know – who’s he to talk about groinal snugness?). After that, we saw the lunar lander, went inside a MIR module and played with the shuttle simulator. And to top off our adventure – Dippin Dots! (Jareth had Cookies and Cream). On the way out, we stopped by the grave of Miss Baker, first monkey in space. Jareth saw the bananas lying there and took one. I tried to tell him those were left for Miss Baker, but he just shrugged and ate it anyway. I guess the Dippin’ Dots weren’t filling enough for the Goblin King.

Next stop: Nashville!

A decade ago I had the pleasure of seeing many Henson props from Labyrinth, Muppets and other properties in an exhibition at the Museum of the Moving Image in London. I was half-expecting the props to shatter my childhood memories by looking more like plush toys than personalities – on the contrary, seeing the props up close showcased just how amazingly detailed the work is at the Jim Henson Creature Shop. Unfortunately, not all of the Creature Shop creations received the same archival treatment. Thankfully, prop restoration folks like Tom Spina are saving these fragile treasures before they are lost to decay. Most recently, they saved everyone’s favorite chivalrous terrier – Sir Didymus: Read more…